Soulfully Seeking
Wenzel Hablik "Starry Night" 1909
From the time I met Diana, I've been actively seeking and practicing.
Seeking what? Practicing how? Seeking answers, inspiration, understanding, and connection. Connection to the universe that I am a part of, connection to my fellow creatures on this earth and those in the celestial sphere. I'm finding out how to be the best human being that I can be, while I am one, and how to develop both my human and angelic sides. I am seeking love, amazement, surprise, healing, awe and wonder. I'm discovering what it means to be a divine soul living in a human body on planet Earth. Here are some of the ways I am practicing.
Journaling
This is something new I've just begun to do recently, so I'm still getting the hang of it. The idea is to just start writing. No thinking about it beforehand, no deciding what to write about, just start. Let your unconscious mind dictate to your fingers. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. The point of this exercise is to awaken thoughts and feelings within yourself that are un-expressed, even un-thought of. It helps you to see what the "real you" is about. What are you happy about? What is a struggle? What questions are seeking answers in your mind?
I am new at it, as I said, and it's been hard for me, since I'm a novelist and a poet, not to think about what or how to write. I need to keep doing it to acquire the skill of stream of consciousness thought and expression. It's interesting. I just don't know yet where it's going to take me.
Meditation
Throughout the ages, meditation has been a staple in a wide variety of spiritual and religious traditions. It quiets the mind, enabling the spirit to take the lead. I am beginning my meditation practice with 5-minute guided meditations on youtube, once a day. From there, I will work up to a 20 or 30 minute session, as a starting goal. Eventually, I will learn to meditate without the guided videos. (it is a skill I once had when I was attending a weekly Buddhism group, but if you don't use it, you lose it!) In addition, I practice walking meditation. This is an exercise in mindfulness while walking for exercise, absorbing light, breezes, nature and messages from guides and the universe. Sometimes I write a poem in my head while walking, which is sort of a mode of meditation as well.
image: lovingessentialoils.com
Mindfulness
Every day, I try to employ mindfulness as often as I can. Sometimes I just forget. But, more and more, I'm realizing that the more mindful my day is, the better day I have! I recently added a technique to my mindfulness practice to help me really "get it". Whenever I encounter some small pleasure during the day, I take it in carefully, noticing how it affects my body and my brain, and truly enjoying whatever it is.
For example, a few days ago it was really hot and humid, and I don't have air conditioning. In the late afternoon, even with my fans going, I was pretty hot and uncomfortable. I decided to take a cool shower to lower my skin temperature a bit. Often when I do this, the water is either too cold when I step in, which feels unpleasant, like a shock, or it's luke-warm and not much relief. This time I somehow managed to set the water temperature exactly right. When I stepped under the flow of cool water, the sensation on my hot skin was absolutely delicious! It was cool, but not a shock, and I closed my eyes and said, out loud, "Joy, Joy, Joy!"
I do this now whenever something is particularly joyful. Another time, I lay down on the couch with a mild headache. I figured I needed a nap, since I had slept poorly the night prior. I was lying on my right side and had adjusted the fan to keep me comfortable while I napped. Then my cat, Winston, an orange tabby who is the sweetest cat ever, jumped up. He gazed into my eyes with his soulful green ones, then rubbed his head on my cheek and settled down against my chest. He was so soft, comforting and I felt his love so strongly. This time I whispered into his orange stripey fur, "Joy, Joy, Joy". Fell asleep with a smile on my face.
This technique of mindfulness practice is only one way to do it, but it's been working well for me. The simplest pleasures can become sacred moments in an ordinary day.
I also happen to be a poet! Below is a poem I wrote on Mindfulness
Mindful
Loss is so painful because we believe that we won't lose.
We think that all good things are forever.
We cannot see, from our small boat, the vastness of the sea.
If only we would hold this truth in our hearts, and make it part of us:
Everything I love will go.
Everyone I love will be separated from me.
I find peace and joy in the wisdom of the universe,
in the quiet calm of my temporal being,
and in this
one
moment
now.
Reaching Out
I believe one of the main tasks we have as human beings is reaching out to one another. We must do everything we can to raise up humanity, and that takes love and compassion, not just felt, but expressed, acted upon.
My practice of reaching out includes a few specific things, so far. I worked for years as a psychotherapist in my younger days. At times I felt overwhelmed by the level of need of some individuals. It was an honor to help my clients along their paths in life. I learned to meet each person where they are, as we are all at different places in our process of becoming the best people we can be.
As for now, I only put on my therapist's "hat" when a friend asks me to! But there are so many more ways to infuse the universe and the souls within it with love and compassion. Just smiling at someone you pass can lift up their day, perhaps let them know they are valued, and that small message resounds much farther (further?) than you can imagine.
I try to give a compliment to at least one person each day. Not a contrived compliment! I don't go looking for an excuse to give someone a compliment. But when I notice something positive about a person, be it someone I know or a stranger, I take a moment to let them know.
A cashier at my grocery store had an unusual name (on his name tag) that I quite liked. I almost left the store without mentioning it, but remembered that I am trying to let people know when I notice something nice! So I told him "Wow, that's such a cool name!" He smiled and thanked me. I don't know how that one comment might manifest itself over time, but I know such words of appreciation (love) do not stop with the individual who originally heard it.
Another time at the grocery store, I saw a Mom pushing her cart with her little girl, about 4 years old, in the back part of the cart. She had on a frilly dress, a tiara and sparkly plastic shoes. I stopped by their cart and I asked the child, with a totally serious expression, "Are you a REAL princess?" She looked up at me, equally serious, and replied "Yes, I am", lifting her little chin with pride. I said "I thought so! I saw you from across the store, and I noticed that those are REAL jewels in your tiara! So I figured you must really be a princess. I'm going to tell my friends that I saw a real live princess in the store today!" Her beautiful face broke into a huge grin. I'm so glad I thought of that! It made that little girl feel truly royal. And, of course, she is!
When good thoughts about anyone come into your mind, friend or stranger, take a moment to tell them! It seems obvious, but often we just don't. We keep our thoughts of admiration, caring, interest, appreciation (love) to ourselves! And what good does that do?
Past Lives Exploration
I do believe in reincarnation. As I've mentioned, it just makes the most sense to me of all the possibilities of what might happen to us after our death. My spiritual friend and I have shared the books of Dr. Michael Newton, who pioneered the theory and technique of past life regression and "LBL" regression. (LBL means life between lives!) My friend and I decided to do it! We even found a past life regression therapist who had trained under Dr. Newton, so we were very excited for our sessions.
[added January 2026]
My first past life regression occurred in 2023. My friend and I booked sessions on the same day, since we had to drive a couple hours to get there. Each session lasts 2.5 hours. My session was first.
The therapist explained what would happen, then got me comfortable on a nice, soft recliner, feet up, blanket laid over me. He began to talk me into the hypnosis process. I wasn't really sure if I could even BE hypnotized, and I sort of thought not! But, I put my faith in the therapist, relaxed as much as possible, and "let go". Just let his voice flow into my consciousness.
When I was in a hypnotic trance (takes about 20-30 minutes), he had me imagine a set of stairs that I would walk down, counting backwards from 5 to 1. Then he asked me to look at my feet.
"What's on your feet?" he asked. "Bare feet" I said. And behind my closed eyes, I could SEE my feet! It was so clear, like a video clear! I had small, brown feet, bare, standing on packed dirt.
The therapist continued, asking me what I could see around me, which I described as a big field with people working in it. In answer to his gentle questioning, it turned out I was 8 years old, a black slave child, in Alabama. (I've never been to Alabama!)My name was Sukie.
After exploring age 8 for a while, he asked me to move to the next important day in Sukie's life. He asked me to describe what I was doing. "I'm 14 years old, I'm with my grandmother, we're searching in the woods for plants and roots." Evidently, my grandmother was a "healer", an herbalist, and she was teaching Sukie her methods, which plants to pick, how to preserve them and so on.
The next event in that life the therapist brought me to was the sick room of the Master's teenaged daughter. I was 30 years old, and feeling nervous. I felt the girl would die, no matter my efforts to save her. I didn't think the Master would hold me at fault, but I did wish the doctor, who had been summoned, would arrive. As I spoke, I named several herbs, some of which I have never heard of in my own life. I used vocabulary unfamiliar to me. For example, I referred to my care of the girl as "ministering". I'd never use that word in my own life!
We explored some more scenes from my life as Sukie. Apparently, I had a reasonably decent life, although enslaved until the Civil War ended when I was about 40 years old. By that time, my one child, a son, who had apprenticed with the blacksmith, was able to find work.
Finally, the therapist asked me to move forward to the day of my death. It was 1910, I remember. I had a terrible cough, probably tuberculosis. But, I was being tenderly cared for by my daughter-in-law in my son's home. By this time, my son had his own successful blacksmith shop. I had a grandchild, a girl, now grown, about middle age. She was reading to me, though I couldn't concentrate on her words. I was 85 years old and ready to go. I felt peaceful and grateful for my life and my family.
When the therapist began to bring me up out of hypnosis, I was almost reluctant to leave Sukie. He asked me what Sukie would have to say to me in this life. Sukie said "She must take extra good care of herself. Then she can help others." (That came to have meaning a few years later.)
After my session, I felt a little odd, like not quite "there". It did pass, and then more of Sukie's life began to come to my mind at odd times of the day and in dreams. Our therapist, who is clearly very skilled in this technique, said that was normal. We were given the recordings of our entire sessions. I saved mine in about 4 places, to be sure I'd never lose it!
The most striking thing about my regression was that it was so clear! I imagined it might be dream-like or blurry, not completely clear. But it was like watching a video. I remember the faces of the people to this day.
(contact me if you're interested in having a past life regression with this therapist; he does do sessions remotely as well as in person)
{more on my second past life regression soon!}
